you are surrounded by a tense, throbbing darkness. you are very horny and very wet.
(click: "very horny")[you love to be very horny. (click: "very wet")[you love to be very wet.
[[use lamp.->use lamp 1]]]]you reach around in the tense, throbbing darkness, accidentally bumping your very horny and very wet crotchal region many times.
(click: "very horny")[you are very horny. (click: "very wet")[you are very wet.
(click: "crotchal region")[your sweaty, trembling palms finally discover what feels like a crotchal region but is in fact your lamp
[[use lamp.->use lamp 2]]]]]light penetrates the dank cavern of shitty cinderblock and shitty linoleum you call your bedroom.
(click: "shitty cinderblock")[you love to be shitty cinderblock. (click: "shitty linoleum")[you love to be shitty linoleum.
[[use phone.->use phone 1]]]]you turn on your iphone deluxe 3000 the newest creation of applesoft deluxe 3000.
(click: "iphone deluxe 3000")[it is time to find some [[naughty sex]]]the first step to finding some naughty sex is to take some naughty photographs
(click: "naughty sex")[you yearn for some sex and the sex must be naughty.
(click: "naughty photographs")[to get some naughty sex you must take many photographs and the photographs must be naughty.
[[use camera]]]]<h1 style="text-align:center">[[fuck hunt->begin]]</h1>
<p style="text-align:centeR">fucktendo fuckertainment system</p>to take a naughty photograph for getting naughty sex you must first remove all of your clothes.
(click: "remove all of your clothes.")[you remove all of your clothes. this is a very naughty deed. god is not pleased.
(click: "take a naughty photograph")[you take a [[very naughty photograph->very naughty photograph 1]]]][[CLICK->very naughty photograph 2]]
<pre> .-""-.
(___/\ )
( |' ' ) )
__) _\=_/ (
____(__.' \ )
.(/"-.._.(' ; (
/ / . (' , | )
_. '---.._/ /.__ ____.'_| |_/
'-' '-._ / | `-........'
;-" ; |
'.__/
</pre>[[CLACK]]
<pre> / )
( @ / \ @ )
`.__," ".__,"
\ /
) (
( )
( \ / )
| Y |
| | |
". | ."
". | ."
\ | /</pre><p style="text-align:center;">(link: "wow.")[ (link:"these photographs are.")[ (link:"very")[ [[naughty.]]]]]the next step to getting some naughty sex is to post your naughty photographs on the tinder deluxe 3000.
<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(click: "tinder deluxe 3000")[
(link: "pull short lever")[(link: "push rose gold button")[(link: "turn girthy knob")[(link: "pull flaccid drawstring")[(link: "place eye on retina scanner")[(link:"log in to facebook deluxe 3000")[(link: "pee on pee scanner")[(link: "honk tiny horn")[(link:"pull long lever")[(link:"break sacred seal")[(goto:"break sacred seal")]]]]]]]]]]]
</h1>the tinder deluxe 3000 whirs, hums, and clanks.
(click: "whirs, hums, and clanks")[i guess it is on now.
[[upload naughty photographs]]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">ERROR 69 THESE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE TOO NAUGHTY</h1>
(click: "TOO NAUGHTY")[
[[well shit fuckin ass goddamn mother of holy fuckfarts.]]
]<p style="text-align:center;">
(link:"you are very horny.")[(link:" and very wet.")[(link:" you yearn for some sex")[(link:" and the sex must be naughty")[(link:" there must be another way.")[
[[use car]]
]]]]]
</p>because you have no clothes on driving will be uncomfortable.
(click: "uncomfortable")[but it is worth it for some naughty sex.
[[use car->use car 2]]
]you use car.
(click:"use car")[car [[drives very good]] for it is of ancient design and made of ancient activated gemstones.]where would you like to drive?
(link: "old bethy's fresh and festering foodmart")[old bethy is dead.
(link: "young bobby's clean and cluttered clothesmart")[young bobby is dead.
(link: "medium bonnie's butts and buttholes bookmart")[print is dead.
(link: "stinky borky's huge and hovely housemart")[stinky borky is mad at you.
[[go lake]]
]]]]lake is your favorite place to be very horny and very wet.
(click: "very horny")[you love to be very horny. (click:"very wet")[you love to be very wet
but you need pole if you want to fish.
(click:"want to fish")[you love to fish when you are very hrony and very wet.
(click:"pole")[
[[go fishing store]]]
]
]]you go fishing store. the door is wide open.
(click:"wide open")[many fish are escaping.
[[enter fishing store.]]]fishing store is magical place full of many things.
(click:"many things")[a two-headed creature covered in fur with a single large red eyeball for a face stands behind the counter.
(click: "two-headed creature")[this must be old bethy's sister less-old bertha
[[buy pole]]]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(link:"may i buy pole?")[(link:"yes for many money")[(link:"i have this")[(link:"here is pole")[
[[buy pole->buy pole 2]]
]]]]
</h1>having pole feels great.
(click: "feels great")[you remember that you are very horny
(click:"very horny")[and very wet.
(click:"and very wet.")[
you also need many worms for catching fish.
(click:"many worms")[
[[buy many worms]]
]]]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(link:"may i buy many worms?")[(link:"yes for many money")[(link:"i have this")[(link:"here is many worms")[
[[buy many worms->buy many worms 2]]
]]]]
</h1>you have pole and many worms.
(click: "many worms")[you put many worms in your pocket.
(click: "pole")[you put pole in your pocket
[[go lake->go lake 2]]
]]you are at lake. you are surrounded by tense, throbbing water. you are very horny and very wet.
(click: "very horny")[you love to be very horny. (click: "very wet")[you love to be very wet.
[[use pole]]
]]you reach around in the tense, throbbing water, accidentally bumping your very horny and very wet crotchal region many times.
(click: "very horny")[you are very horny. (click: "very wet")[you are very wet.
(click: "crotchal region")[your sweaty, trembling palms finally discover what feels like a crotchal region but is in fact pole
[[use pole.->use pole 2]]]]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(link: "pull short lever")[(link: "push rose gold button")[(link: "turn girthy knob")[(link: "pull flaccid drawstring")[(link: "place eye on retina scanner")[(link:"log in to facebook deluxe 3000")[(link: "pee on pee scanner")[(link: "honk tiny horn")[(link:"pull long lever")[(link:"break sacred seal")[(goto:"break sacred seal 2")]]]]]]]]]]
</h1>pole whirs, hums, and clanks.
(click: "whirs, hums, and clanks")[i guess it is on now.
[[use pole->use pole 3]]
]fish love many worms. they love to eat them.
(click:"many worms")[you can trick fish with many worms.
(click:"trick fish")[
[[murder worm on hook]]
]]worm shrieks in pain as you murder worm on hook.
(click:"shrieks in pain")[you emit a hollow cackle. (click:"hollow cackle")[you are very pleased.
[[put hook in water]]
]]hook is now in water. you must (link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[(link:"wait")[
[[oh!]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]].oh! it seems a fish has fallen for your trick!
[[use reel to get fish]]fish feels tiny and puny in your large wide and tall hands.
(click: "fish")[you put fish in your pocket
[[use car->use car new]]
]you use car.
(click:"use car")[car [[drives pretty good->drives very good new]] for it is of ancient design and made of ancient activated gemstones.
(click:"ancient activated gemstones")[some of the gemstone power has been used up.]]where would you like to drive?
(link: "old bethy's fresh and festering foodmart")[old bethy is fake.
(link: "young bobby's clean and cluttered clothesmart")[young bobby is fake.
(link: "medium bonnie's butts and buttholes bookmart")[print is fake.
(link: "stinky borky's huge and hovely housemart")[stinky borky is fake at you.
[[go home]]
]]]]time to go home. by the time you arrive the horizon is filled with creamy blues and oranges. the trees sing hymns of praise and the fences all catch fire at your return.
[[enter]]you enter. friend is in the kitchen. you can't remember what its name is.
[[give camera to friend]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(link:"please take a naughty photograph of me")[(link:"yes i love you")[(link:"thank you i love you too friend")[(link:"yes me too")[
[[hold dead fish]]
]]]]
</h1>[[CLICK->fish photo]]
<pre> .-""-.
(___/\ )
( |' ' ) )
__) _\=_/ (
____(__.' \ )
.(/"-.._.(' FISH; (
/ / . (' , | )
_. '---.._/ /.__ ____.'_| |_/
'-' '-._ / | `-........'
;-" ; |
'.__/
</pre>[[CLACK->fish photo 2]]
<pre> / )
( @ / \ @ )
`.__," ".__,"
\ /
) FISH (
( )
( \ / )
| Y |
| | |
". | ."
". | ."
\ | /</pre>the last step for getting some naughty sex is to put these naughty photographs on the tinder deluxe 3000
<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(click: "tinder deluxe 3000")[
(link: "pull short lever")[(link: "push rose gold button")[(link: "turn girthy knob")[(link: "pull flaccid drawstring")[(link: "place eye on retina scanner")[(link:"log in to facebook deluxe 3000")[(link: "pee on pee scanner")[(link: "honk tiny horn")[(link:"pull long lever")[(link:"break sacred seal")[(goto:"break sacred seal new2")]]]]]]]]]]]
</h1>the tinder deluxe 3000 clanks, hums, and whirs.
(click: "clanks, hums, and whirs")[oh it was on before i think it's off now.
[[turn it back on]]
]<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(link: "pull short lever")[(link: "push rose gold button")[(link: "turn girthy knob")[(link: "pull flaccid drawstring")[(link: "place eye on retina scanner")[(link:"log in to facebook deluxe 3000")[(link: "pee on pee scanner")[(link: "honk tiny horn")[(link:"pull long lever")[(link:"break sacred seal")[(goto:"break sacred seal new3")]]]]]]]]]]
</h1>the tinder deluxe 3000 whirs, hums, and clanks.
(click: "whirs, hums, and clanks")[i guess it is on now again.
[[upload naughty fish photographs]]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">upload complete</h1>
(click:"upload complete")[the screen begin to emit many lights
(click:"many lights")[creatures of all shapes and sizes materialize in your dank cinderblock cavern.
[[creatures]]
]]<h1 style="text-align:center;">
(link:"are you very horny?")[(link:"yes i am very horny i love to be very horny")[(link:"are you very wet?")[(link:"yes i am very wet i love to be very wet")[(link:"good")[(link:"you have fuck hunted well")[(link:"it is time for some naughty sex")[(link:"thank you for some naughty sex")[(link:"yes, you are welcome")[(link:"you are so happy.")[you have won]]]]]]]]]]↶↷